Action photos of Beaver FUCKIN' Shoot!!

Hey left ball? Hey right ball? Who's the PENIS in between us??

John's lifelong dream was fulfilled later that night when he found himself magically transported into the 1979 B-film, " FOXES "....Hip Huggers not included.

This picture is so retarded and yet a perfect display of pure genius.

Double kisses from elated women is usually the by-product of a deep, penetrating, 20-minute this photo would show if it weren't cropped to protect the innocent.

A million things come to mind while viewing this horrendous display of whiskey bottle-suckling action on the part of John, but all I can say is: "Trailer Hitch Cleaner"......Jesus.

Kid Rock was turned down for a shot to open for Beaver Shoot at this clutch cargo show at Mac's bar in Lansing, as was Foghat, Van Halen and JOURNEY with Steve Perry on VOCALS!! Don't make us spell it out for you: Tommy Lee ROCKS!!

John randomly saddles up to unsuspecting shmoes in a feeble excuse to flash the Heavy Metal DEVIL sign....Heaven's on Fire, Yo!

John lights up like a match when told about being in the running for bathroom attendant at Milwaukee's own Pearly Oyster bar...send us a postcard, John!

"..She seemed a bit stiff at first, but by the end of the night I was dickin' her BALLS DEEP!"

Green Lantern decided to give up his crime-fighting antics to join Beaver Shoot in a quest to find the perfect FRITO.